My Only One
by mysticalforces
Summary: What if Emma had found Neal when she went to Tallahassee for two years? {Swanfire}
1. Chapter 1

I decidied to start a new Swanfire story. I thought I'd try my hand at something that actually deals with the plot/universe of the show. I hope you guys like it :) Please review.

My Only One

Summarry: What if Emma had found Neal when she went to Tallahassee for two years?

Chapter 1

Emma Swan stood in front of the beige colored door, with her hand poised to knock.

It had taken her months to find him. After she'd gotten out of prison, she'd done some odd jobs to save up the money to come out here, she'd hired an investigator.

All that had lead her here. She'd been thinking about this moment for some time. Would he be happy to see her?

_Wait_, Emma scolded herself. _Why do I care if he's happy to see or not? He's the one who abandoned me and had me arrested for something he did. And with a baby, no less._

As those thoughts reaffirmed all the reasons why she should hate him and not care whether he wanted to see her or not, another one hit her.

_He didn't know I was pregnant_

Emma sighed. Just as she was about to get her nerve to knock, the door swung open.

Neal Cassidy stared at his former girlfriend in shock. All at once a billion questions went through his mind. What was she doing here? How had she found him? Was she even looking for him? Did she hate him?

"Going somewhere?" Emma asked coldly.

"I was going to check my mail," Neal answered honestly, still in shock from her standing on his doorstep. "Emma, I can't believe you're here." The shock was starting to wear off as a smile came over his features. "I missed you so mu-" As he reached a hand out to touch her arm, his own reassurance that she was real and actually standing there, not unlike his dream versions of her, she pulled back as if his touch burned her.

"Don't," She said sharply. "I've thought of this moment for quite some time, Neal. It ran through my mind a lot those eleven months I spent in jail!"

Neal looked ashamed. "Emma, I am so sorry."

"No, you're not." Emma spat. "You're just sorry I found you. You're just sorry you've been caught."

"I should be sorry you found me." Neal admitted. "But I can't bring myself to be. It's selfish, I know…"

"You know what, it _is_ selfish!" Anger was starting to leave her body, even though she was desperately trying to hold onto it. Tears stung her eyes. "You _left_ me!"

Neal was anguished as he saw tears fill up her eyes. "Emma,"

"You turned me in to the cops! You let me go to prison!" She continued, as her voice became louder as it broke.

"Baby," Neal reached out again wanting more than anything to just hold her, but she stepped out of his reach.

"Do you have any idea what happened to me in there?!" She screamed, as tears fell down her face.

Neal didn't know. All he knew was that August told him that she would be ok and that it was good. He believed neither word that he told him. He'd been so worried about her, so scared that she would be hurt. "Baby, please just let me explain…"

"I _loved_ you!" Emma cried out as she came at him and start punching his chest with her tiny fists. "You were all I had! We were gonna have a home here! You said you wanted to have a home here with me! You _promised_ me!"

Neal stood there, as tears stung his own eyes and let her continuously hit him. He knew he deserved it. "I'm sorry." He choked out, his voice rough with tears. "Baby, I'm _so_ sorry."

She continued to deliver punch after punch against his chest. "You knew! You knew what I had lived with! You knew how abandoned I was, not just from my parents but from every person I had ever trusted before! You promised you would never leave me!" She cried out, as her strength finally left her, she would have fallen, but he reached out catching her before she could.

Neal clutched her against him in a desperate hold. "I had no choice," He whispered. "I hated myself for what I did to you, but I had no choice. I ran into someone…" He really didn't want to do this out in the hall. "Come with me, baby.." He gently moved them both inside his apartment, never once loosening his hold on her. He closed the door.

"How can you say you had no choice? You couldn't not turned me into the cops. You could've not abandoned me." Her voice was soft, and rough from crying.

Could he really tell her the truth? He doubted she would even believe him. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," He finally settled on.

She pulled out of his arms. "Don't lie to me! I don't want anymore lies, I want the truth!"

"Emma," There is no way she would believe him if he told her about him and August's conversation.

"The truth!" She bellowed. "If we stand a chance at working things out, you're gonna have to be honest with me."

He looked at her stunned. Did she say what he thought she just said? "Work things out? You…you still want to be with me after what I did?"

Emma nodded slowly. "I shouldn't. I should want to get as far away from you as possible but I can't. I still…" She still loved him but she couldn't bring herself to say those words. Eleven months in prison had hardened her and she wasn't ready.

"I love you too." Neal had always been able to read her so well and a year hadn't changed that. He could tell that she was scared to be completely vulnerable with him, so he would be completely vulnerable with her. He could do that, he could do anything for her. "I never stopped."

"Why did you leave me?" She asked softly.

He couldn't tell her the truth about herself, she wouldn't believe him and she'd probably run thinking he was nuts. So he would have to settle for telling her his part of his truth. "I ran into someone. He knows who I really am. He knows….he knows my father."

"Your father?" Emma was confused. "I thought your dad was dead."

"He is dead," He whispered, still pained over how his father had abandoned him and chosen magic and being the dark one over him. "to me. He's dead to me, but he's not really dead. I've been running from him for a really long time, but he's looking for me. I couldn't have him find me or you." That part was true. He wanted his father no where near him or Emma. He could still be the dark one and have magic. He'd seen his father kill more people than he could count.

"This guy I ran into who knows my father….he told me that if I didn't send you to prison that something would happen to you." He hated that he was lying to her and sticking to these half truths but he knew that she was not ready for the truth. He didn't think anyone would be ready to hear that they are the savior and that they're the daughter of Snow white. She'd think he was nuts.

"You thought prison would be safer than whatever your dad would do?" Emma was skeptical, as none of this made any sense to her. Why didn't he just tell her? They could've just ran away.

"Without question," And that was the god's honest truth. Prison was a picnic compared to the things his father were capable of. "I know what my father is capable of and I didn't want any of that to ever touch you. I was going to come for you once I felt that you were safe." He would've come for her once he got that postcard.

"Well, I wasn't safe." Emma snapped. "Ok? I was beat up so much in there that it's a wonder our baby even survived!"

Neal took a step back, shocked. "What?"

Emma hadn't meant to come right out with that, but now that she had, she knew she had to be honest. "I was pregnant with your baby."

"Emma, I am so sorry," Neal felt disgusted with himself. Not only had he abandoned her and sent her to prison, but with his unborn child no less.

"It would've been a lie not to tell you." She continued. "If I'd had any other options I never would've given him up."

"Him? We have a son?" He felt mixed feelings. He was glad that they created a beautiful baby but he was sad that she'd been all alone and felt she'd had no choice but to adopt him out.

"Yes," Emma admitted. "Neal, I know that-"

"Baelfire,"

"What?"

He may not be able to tell her the truth about herself, but he could tell her the truth about him. And she deserved to know his real name. "My name is Baelfire."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows! They mean the world to me. I don't wanna give to much of the story away, but I plan on having it intertwine with storybrooke at some point. Got alot of ideas for this fic. And yes...August will eventually answer to Neal. That is something I really hope they have play out on the show. Anyhow, enjoy the chapter and review :)

Chapter 2

"Baelfire?" Emma looked at him with uncertainty.

He nodded. "That's my real name. When I used to have friends, they called me Bae." He was done hiding himself from her. He wanted her to know exactly who he was.

"Wow," Emma breathed. "that's going to take some getting used to. Bae, why didn't you tell me your real name a long time ago?"

"Because I was running." He answered simply. "I was trying to become someone else. I didn't want to remember that person. I didn't want to remember that life. My father took so much from me, Emma. Any friends that I managed to make, he scared them off. If anyone so much as looked at me the wrong way, he killed them."

Emma was shocked. "Your father…he killed people?"

Neal nodded sadly. "More people than I can count."

"And he did this in front of you?" Emma couldn't imagine having to live with such horror.

As much as he didn't like talking about his past, he was glad that he was telling her. He knew who she was and he loved her, faults and all. He wanted her to love him that some way. He wanted her to not just love the car thief, but also love the son of a coward. "Yes. In his own mindset, he thought he was protecting me. He just made everything worse. No one wanted to hang out with me for fear that they would wind up dead."

Emma reached out and took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently. "I'm so sorry for what you've had to live with."

Neal smiled at her gently. "I appreciate the sentiment, but you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry." He gently tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. "Babe, I am so sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you the truth about me a long time ago and most of all…more than anything that I've ever done in my life….I am so sorry that I sent you to prison and that you had to have our baby all alone with no support." He breathed a ragged breath and tears stung his eyes. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but…"

Emma impulsively leaned forward and kissed him. It was a quick but tender kiss. "It's ok," She gave him a gentle smile. "I forgive you."

"You do?" He spoke with emotion.

Emma nodded, as tears stung her own eyes. "I was angry for a really long time, Ne…Bae." That was definitely gonna take some getting used to. "I was so angry that you sent me to prison and left me alone and pregnant. You abandoned me and it didn't make sense. We made plans to have a life together and you just ditched me. It reminded me of every other relationship I've ever had in my life and it broke my heart."

"Emma," His voice broke. "I'm so sorry. I thought I was doing what was best for you…I didn't know you were pregnant. If I had I would have never…"

"I know," She replied gently. "I know. And while I forgive you and I want to be together…it's gonna take me some time. It's gonna take me some time to trust you again. I mean, to completely trust that you're not gonna abandon me again."

Neal gently kissed her lips. "I'm here, baby. I'm not going anywhere. I'll prove to you that you can trust me. Maybe things won't be the way they once were….maybe they'll be even better. Because I'm never going to let you go again."

Emma smiled tearily. "I wanna believe that, Bae. You have no idea how badly I wanna believe in you."

Neal smiled a bit. Once upon a time, he never ever wanted to hear his real name called out ever again, but now hearing her say it…it sounded…right. "I'll believe it for the both of us until you're ready."

Emma leaned her forehead against his and couldn't help the wonderful warmth that filled her as his arms enclosed around her. This was everything that she had needed for the past year. She'd never stopped needing him, she'd never stopped loving him. It was in this moment right here that she realized she never would. "Can I…" Her voice was uncertain. She wanted to know more but she didn't want to upset him.

"What is it, Emma?" He tenderly asked.

"Can I ask you something?" Emma bit her lip. It was a quirk of hers that she always did whenever she wanted to ask something but was afraid to.

Neal smiled at her warmly. "You can ask me anything."

She finally built up her nerve after a few seconds of silence. "How did things end with your father?"

Neal's eyes darkened as he remembered that bitter end. The green vortex….being abandoned and all alone at fourteen. He couldn't tell her the exact truth, but he could stay as truthful to the basics as possible and improvise on the details. "We were gonna move to a new town." He finally spoke. "Have a fresh start. He promised me. But at the last minute…he didn't follow through. He abandoned me and I grew up alone."

Emma's heart broke for him. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I didn't mean to bring back…."

"No, no." Neal assured her. "I said you can ask me anything and I meant it. I want things to be different, better. I wanna share everything with you and vice versa."

Emma frowned. "I'm not ready to talk about prison."

Neal gently brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. "That's ok. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. A lot has happened today that I never expected. I never expected that you would find me and I certainly never expected that you would forgive me. But you have. And that's all I could've ever asked for. I'm glad that we have a chance to start over."  
Emma smiled gently. "Me too. I'm glad that you're not keeping anymore secrets from me and that I know everything. We can finally work on moving forward."

Neal felt a wave of guilt stab him in the heart. He hadn't been completely honest with her. He was keeping her very identity away from her but he knew that he had to. She would never believe him if he told her right now. He needed time to get her to trust him again and to help her work through the demons that haunted her from prison. And then…then he would tell her.

Hell, he'd take her to storybrooke himself, even risk facing his father if he had to. He wasn't going to become the coward that his father was. He was gonna do better, be better…for Emma. He knew she had a destiny that was bigger than him, bigger than the both of them and with time he would get her to it.

"Neal?" Emma asked timidly, like she was afraid to.

"What is it?" Neal asked her gently.

Emma finally worked up her courage. "Can I…can I stay here tonight?"

Neal smiled at her softly. "Of course you can. We were gonna get a place together, remember?"

Emma looked uncertain. "I know…but that was so long ago…"

Neal gently lifted her in his arms. "It wasn't that long ago. You know I still want that, right? This can be our home."

Suddenly tears were falling down Emma's face, and she was breathing heavily.

"Hey," Neal looked at her concerned. Why was she so upset? Did he say something wrong? Had he hurt her in some way? "babe what's wrong?"

"I," She hiccupped as sobs overwhelmed her small form. "I never thought that I would have a home again." Through her tears she saw tears sting Neal's eyes. "People in jail told me that no one would ever care about me. I know, it's silly but I started to believe them. When the months passed and I got no letter from you…"

Neal didn't think a time would ever come where he didn't absolutely hate himself for what he'd done to her. "You thought I didn't love you anymore." He finished for her softly. "Babe, I'm sorry." He rasped. "You'll never know how much. And it's not silly. I abandoned you just like everyone else in your life had done. You have every right to hate me, and your capacity to forgive me for something that was just so unforgivable overwhelms me. I love you so much for it."

Emma threw her arms around him and settled against his chest. She felt his fingers run through her hair softly. "I just wanna feel safe again."

His heart constricted at her words. "You are safe. You will always be safe with me and I promise you, I am never ever gonna leave you again."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Wow. I wanna thank each and everyone one of you is reviewing and all of the follows and favorites :) It's amazing. I'm a fellow Swanthief/Swanfire fanfic reader myself and I haven't been able to find anyone write a what if story. So that's why I did this. I'm writing it for anyone who was ever curious about what might've happened. I've got quite a bit planned. I hope you like this chapter :) Please review.

Chapter 3

Neal watched over Emma as she slept.

A part of him still couldn't believe she was really here, that she'd really forgiven him and still wanted to be with him. Now that she was asleep, he could really give his thoughts full reign. He wondered if August had known she was pregnant. He didn't really see how he could've known if Emma herself hadn't found out til she took a test in jail, but all of this just seemed way too much of a coincidence. And if his father had taught him anything that he believed to be true, it was that there were no coincidences.

"Did August want that curse to be broken so badly that he would sacrifice our baby to do it?" He wondered softly aloud. Could he be that cruel? He settled his gaze on her face and he smiled a bit. It brought him great relief that at least she seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

He gently reached a hand out to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "So beautiful," He murmured softly. She was still as beautiful as the day he'd first laid eyes on her a year ago, even more so. "Love, I'm so sorry. I promise you I will do everything I can to make things right for you, and for our baby." He let his hand drift down to her stumach and he gently pulled her shirt up a couple inches.

He frowned as he saw what looked to be a faded incision mark. And for the second time since she'd come back into his life, he wondered what exactly had happened to her in there. He knew for now that all he would do is wonder, because there was no way he could ask her. She wasn't ready, she'd said so herself.

His train of thought was cut off as he heard her start to mumble in her sleep.

"No," She softly murmured. "please, don't."

"Emma?" He gently grabbed her hand in concern.

Her breathing began to speed up as she began to get agitated. "No, no, no, no!" She cried out, a couple tears rolling down her face. "Not the iron! Anything but that, please!"

Neal thought he was gonna be physically ill. What the fuck had they done to her in there? "Emma," He forced his voice to come across as soothing, even though he felt rage bubbling inside of him at the thought of anyone in there laying a violent hand on her. "babe, you gotta wake up, ok? You're just having a nightmare. It's not real." He gently lifted her body in his arms. "Shh, it's ok."

"No!" She screamed as she gasped and bolted awake, breathing heavily.

"Hey," Neal said gently, pushing her hair that had stuck to the side of her face away. "are you alright?" He knew that was a stupid question but he couldn't for the life of him think of anything else to say. Well, he could but he knew she wouldn't want to talk about it. He'd never wanted to talk about his nightmares either. He had a feeling that his father letting him go through a vortex all alone didn't compare to whatever hell she had endured in that jail cell.

Emma was breathing heavily. "I'm fine," She whispered, blinking back tears.

"Please," He wished she wouldn't shut down on him. He knew she was as far from fine as a person could get. "you don't have to lie to me, babe."

"You mean the way you lied to me?" Emma threw back, and didn't miss his features recoil as if he'd been slapped. "For two years I was basically with a stranger. You didn't even tell me your real name. I basically gave myself to a john doe, so if I don't feel like sharing my crap with you, I think I'm entitled."

"Hey, that's not fair." Neal defended hurt. "It was just formalities, babe. I never lied to you about the person I am or my feelings for you. That was all true. Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" She asked as she pulled away from him and stood up.

"You're pushing me away. You're trying to pick a fight with me. Why?" Neal knew that things weren't going to go back to the way they had been in Portland but he didn't understand where her sudden anger at him was coming from. It was almost like she was deliberately… "What was your dream about?"

Emma's eyes became stricken. "I don't want to talk about it. I told you that. Please, don't make me."

"I would never try to make you do something that you didn't want to do." Neal softly told her. "I just hate the idea of you being in so much pain that you would wake up screaming. I just want to help you, the way you helped me."

Emma roughly wiped away her tears. "You never wanted to talk to me after you had nightmares of your father either."

"That's true," Neal agreed. "but you can't compare the two. My nightmares of my father had to do with him abandoning me, it didn't involve an iron." His warm, caring eyes met her broken ones.

Emma let out a sob. "Please, Bae. I can't talk about it. I'm sorry for snapping at you, but please…I'm not ready."

Neal walked to her and gently pulled her into his embrace. "Shh, it's alright." He gently stroked her hair. "You don't have to tell me. I have an idea…but…when you are ready, you can talk to me. You can tell me anything."

Emma nodded against him. "I'll tell you one day, I promise. I'm just not ready to talk about it now. It's too…."

"Raw." He finished for her. He knew all about raw painful memories. It was several months before he'd let her in on what his nightmares had been about.

"Yes." Emma finally answered. Her head laid against his chest. "Bae?"

He heard the uncertainty in her voice. "Yeah?" He softly responded.

"Do you…do you still love me?"

A sob choked up his throat at the timid question. A question that he didn't ever want her to feel the need to ask. "Babe," He choked out. "I've loved you ever since the first day in that stolen car. I've never stopped and I never will. I love you so much."

Despite all of the pain that she was still in, she found herself smiling a little through her tears. "I love you," she finally said an felt warmth spread through her as she felt his arms tighten around her and felt his lips kiss her hair. "Even when I tried to convince myself that I hated you, I still loved you. I never stopped either and I know I never could."

Neal smiled, even as tears rolled down his face. He loved her more than anything in the world. He realized they were finally taking a step in the right direction together. He didn't need her to tell him all the bad shit she'd been through, he just needed her to not shut him out and to let him into her heart. She was doing that. He couldn't have been prouder of her for her strength.

"Emma," He murmured quietly. "why would you ever feel the need to ask me that? I thought you knew how much I love you. I told you…"

"I'm not the same." Emma whispered, her face buried in the crook of his neck. "You know I was damaged when we met, but I'm so much more so now. There are things that happened to me in prison…things that changed me. You don't even know the extent of them and I…"

"Nothing that could've ever been done to you, or that you could ever do could ever change the way I feel about you." Neal told her firmly. "And you're not damaged. Ok? Remember what I told you when we were first dating?"

"You said…" Emma breathed heavily. "you said that I may not be perfect but that I was perfect to you and that…"

"I love all of your imperfections." Neal finished softly. "It's still true."

Emma sniffled. "I know that you don't want to believe it, but I am damaged."

"Emma," He softly said. He wished she would see herself the way he saw her. He hated that because of what he had let August have him set into motion that all of the confidence he had helped her build in herself had been shattered.

"Broken,"

Neal breathed heavily as he pulled back to look into her uncertain eyes. Eyes that were full of so much pain. He gave her a small smile full of all the love he had inside for her, as he gently wiped away her tears. "Then we'll just have to fix you."


End file.
